The whole weight loss may seem like it's slow going, but really that's for the best. I'm changing my life and changing the way I think about food and that isn't something that comes in the blink of an eye.
Besides, my best friend is constantly saying that it took me years to put the weight on, why should it only take weeks to take it off. (Isn't she a ray of sunshine?)
So my success this week was a trip to the grocery store. So here's the deal. I don't do the grocery shopping. When Debra and I moved in together she sort of took over in the kitchen. Now I can't say I minded, who wouldn't want someone to cook for them every night? Because of that I stopped going grocery shopping too. Debra enjoys it and she's big into couponing, so why not let her have some fun. Plus, I get some time to be alone in the house and that can be spiritually beneficial too.
And here is the rub, if I don't do the shopping and I don't do the cooking not only can I blame any poor choice on Debra, but I give myself an out because I knew all along what type of cooking Deb prefers. Debra is a meat and potatoes kind of gal. To her having just a large salad for dinner would never happen. She likes fried and she likes red meat. So I now had the perfect out to eat all of those things whenever. Add 30 pounds in the last 14 years.
I'm not blaming Debra for my weight gain. I am fully and 100% responsible. Isn't that adult of me, taking responsibility for my own issues. But having Debra cook let me push off the blame for a long time.
And we've tried to lose weight together many times. Debra is no skinny minny. But I decided this time I have to do this myself; FOR myself and by myself. No using Debra as an excuse not to exercise or eat right. I needed to start telling her what I wanted her to buy and cook and be firm about it. Surprisingly she agreed. She has done very well in adding veggies to the menu and she slowed way down on the snacks and sweets.
So last week Debra wasn't feeling well and we were out of diet soda (yes, I still drink diet Coke, I'm addicted, so sue me). So it was either do without (horror of horrors) or go get the stuff myself.
Now usually when I go to the grocery store I end up in a couple aisles that aren't my friends. Okay, they ARE my friends, I love them, but they aren't the kind of friend I should have. You know the aisles, they have the candy and the cookies and the sugary breakfast cereals and the of course there's the frozen food section with all of the ice cream.
So I head into the store and start out in the produce section. I put some celery and lettuce and potatoes in the cart and even added in some tomatoes. (Debra loves raw tomatoes - me, not so much). I deftly walk past the breads and cookies and I headed into the main part of the store. I paused at the crackers because I like crackers, but changed my mind and walked away. I didn't even stop at the cookies and candy (shocking) and headed over to get some milk. Now why they put the milk right by the ice cream is beyond me. Why not have all of the bad for you food in a special section of the store. You know, like they used to have the X-rated movies at the video store? All of that food could be behind a weird little curtain so you could totally avoid it if you wanted. Out of sight, out of mind, right?
So there I was walking by the ice cream. And I HAD to go the ice cream because couponer Debra had handed me a coupon that make Klondike bars only .99 cents. What a deal! So I stop at the Klondike bars (arranged nicely by the store in one frozen food bin). There are the dark chocolate variety and the ones with mint chocolate chip ice cream in the center. But as I stood there I made a conscious decision that I should look at the calorie count. Regular Klondike bars 240, and sugar-free Klondike bars 160. Damn, that's a pretty big difference. Now I had to come home with Klondike bars or Debra would have been annoyed, so I picked up the sugar free variety and headed on my way.
I had done it. I made it through a shopping trip and only bought one questionable item. Yippee! And so there, my friends is my success story. Did I climb Mount Everest or slay a dragon? No. But I proved to myself that I don't need the old friend aisles at the store. Will I visit them again, hell yeah, but at least now I know we can be apart and I won't miss them so much.
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